(created from writings of Abha Jeurkar FB Post - I don't have grandiose or romantic ideas about love. I don't think there are soulmates or that matches are made in heaven. However, I do think that romantic love is a valuable human construct and that it can serve the needs of people in the way societies are organized at present. I think that the space that partnership allows is very beautiful, as it allows the partners to be vulnerable, to explore another human being up close, closer than most others. Relationship of equals can allow for comfort as well as adventure/space. I think these intimate spaces can be great learning spaces if one is allowed to explore them in these ways, even though that might mean making mistakes and getting back up. Such partnerships based on respect and love cannot be a reality if people are coerced into them, or they are manipulated into being in them forever. Choice is the cornerstone.
It breaks my heart to see how the society in which I live does everything possible in its might to stop people from loving this way. Choice, equality and space scares not just the lovers but also the people around them. Control and coercion is celebrated, commitment to love is not. People are emotionally and physically manipulated into not being in relationships that do not fit the norms of religion, caste and sexuality or they are manipulated into staying in the ones that do fit the norm. And a couple going against the norm is isolated from families and communities of comfort, if allowed to live and love. It's an extremely unfair burden on a relationship where people are forced to choose between communities of comfort and a person! Love is like life, it only thrives when allowed to breathe.)
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